Pintorexia

Pinterest.

I love Pinterest. All those who join are addicted. It's hard not to get addicted. Such wonderful ideas on time-saving life hacks, recipes, child rearing tips, art, exercise, fashion... anything and everything! If you check out my Pinterest page, you'll see I have a great collection of inspirational quotes, 3/4 of the most adorable and fun wedding you'll ever attend planned, a dream house modge-podged together through a collection of photos containing neutral walls with a *pop* of colour in furniture and accessories and about three recipes for crab rangoon that I have yet to try mmmmm crab rangoon.

I also hate Pinterest. Blasphemy! Why, you ask? I have come to realize that Pinterest is making me vie for a trendier wardrobe, better style, skin, makeup, body.

I love all of the fashion and trendy ideas Pinterest offers, but I'm finding myself becoming upset with what I have in my closet. This isn't the right chambray shirt. Why did I buy teal pants when mint is all the rage? My blue and white striped shirt feels stuffy under my yellow cardigan and they aren't even the right thickness of stripes. My Toms are knock-offs. My boots aren't the right brown. My hair doesn't meet the standards of Victoria Secret. 

Thanks to ol' Pinterest, I'm having a lot of doubts and concerns with my self image--again. A while ago I stopped buying magazines like Cosmo and Vogue because I realized I didn't meet the standards of what their image of beauty was. The models in the magazines have stylists and oodles of cash to put towards the 'look'. Magazines, which are 90% ads and 10% useful content, were bringing me down. Besides, most of the fashion sections in these magazines aren't ready-to-wear. Who the hell wears a fuzzy pink skirt with a football jersey anyway?

That's why I liked the "Women's Fashion" section on Pinterest... at first. Oh wow, do-able street style! Wonderful outfits for work! I have some of these items, I can totally wear this! Not.  What one must realize is that the girls wearing the outfits still are modelesque. A good portion of them do not struggle to do up the bust button on an oxford shirt.  A good portion of them do not look pregnant in a pencil skirt. A good portion of them do not have thighs that touch. A good portion of them have a waist, or at least some space between the top of their hip and their last rib I swear my ribs and hips touch.  So here I am struggling again. Still finding that I do not belong in the fashion world.

As upset as I am about the images on Pinterest, I still look. I still seek inspiration. I am soooo bored with my closet I am torturing myself looking for a style that may work for me! Living in the sticks doesn't quite help the situation. One very cute and unique clothing store in town, but it's not within my budget. All other options are low-quality, low-style, and over-worn brands. Can't a girl catch a break?

The deep roots of my attire issue is really a body image issue Pinterst is causing. I can't say I'm genetically set up to be a star athlete. If we didn't look so darn alike, I'd say my fit brother was adopted. He seems to come by athleticism easily. We were all active as children, but somehow I didn't get fit or have the motivation to keep pushing. As a teenager I took it as a fact of life. Through university I was too busy with studying and social activities drinking to again focus on my fitness. The occasional run, hike, and gym visit, but no real commitment. I'd eat pretty healthy and tried the odd diet, but I still remained the same round shape.

Here I am now, nearly two years since I entered the real world with my B.A. and I am still not at the fitness level I promised myself I'd be at after graduation. Three months ago  I re-committed to working out at least 3 times a week, baby steps here, people, which has consisted of 20-30 minute runs and resistance training, but I have yet to see slimming results. I know it takes time to get there, but I'm impatient, and again, Pinterest is making me feel under-achieved with all of those skinny b!tches modeling and being fit n' stuff. There is a plethora of fitspiration and workout ideas, all sworn to be 'the best and fool-proof way to loose weight'. Yeaaah, no. Well, perhaps yes, but I'm not seeing the results I want! I'm convinced running isn't slimming me down, I'm gaining more bulk in my thighs. If you've seen my thighs, you'd think, 'gee, those suckers don't need to get any bigger!'. No, no, no, no, no! I want to be thin, and graceful, like a gazelle, or Gisele for that matter! I know I have to keep trying and pushing on, but, again, I want it nowwwwww. After one workout I should be jacked!

As you can see, I'm frustrated and am blaming my current body and closet woes on Pinterest. If I tried every workout posted, maybe then I could look good in the clothes posted! Huzzah! I know it's not a bad thing to work towards a fitter body, but it is bad to compare myself to those who have achieved it or come by it effortlessly. I need to stop taking Pinterest so damn seriously and be thankful for what I have now. Hey, I'm alive and at least I have a closet full of clothes that I may or may not like. At least I have a closet or two, and a roof over my head.

I have found some better inspiration online are all answers online? and that is on TheBerry. They have a Daily Motivation posting that does help me keep perspective. I quite like it when people send in pictures of their results. I want to be one of those people too! Yay! Motivation! I will keep trying, I will eat cleaner, train meaner and be a sweaty beast after every workout. Deal? Deal.

Alright, so. Moral of my post here. Pinterest is still toxic to your self-image. Don't take it too seriously. You may not look as fabulous in that infinity scarf-chambray shirt-leggings-leg warmers with boots- outfit that is so damn popular, but you can rock what you've got and be proud of it. I say this now, but I am currently in my PJs and have yet to find an outfit to wear today. I'll be frustrated and disappointed once again. Again, baby steps!

x.